If your loved one is in need of care, he or she is likely dealing with loss — physical loss, mental loss, the loss of independence. Accepting care might means opening up your private life and adjusting to new routines. As a result, your loved one might feel frightened and vulnerable, angry that he or she needs help or guilty about the idea of becoming a burden to family and friends.
In some cases, your loved one might be stubborn, have mental health concerns or simply think it’s a sign of weakness to accept help. He or she might also be worried about the cost of certain types of care especially with the cost of everyday living compared to when they were younger. It can be even more difficult attempting to explain to a parent who suffers from memory loss.
What’s the best way to approach a loved one about the need for care?
If you think that your loved one will be resistant to discuss care options— whether from family, other close contacts, here are some items to think about prior to discussion:
• Determine what help is needed. Make an honest assessment of what kind of physical or emotional assistance your loved one needs including social stimulation.
• Choose a time when your loved one is the most relaxed. This will make it easier for you and your loved one to listen to each other and speak your minds but don’t be surprised if you have spent a couple of hours discussing choices and then decides they are not ready and do not really want to talk about it again.
• Ask your family and friends for help. Family and friends might be able to help you persuade your loved one to accept help and all families have a person who may be able to convince your loved one much better than others.
• Don’t give up . If your loved one doesn’t want to discuss the topic the first time you bring it up, try again later. Also, many communities have social events which you may want to find out topics and attend with your loved one this way, they can see the community and may want to take a tour at that time once they see how beautiful the communities are.